Dear Heart

Dear Heart,

You’re weird. First you gave love a chance, loving the wrong person for so long. You gave it all you had and let yourself open without thinking that you’ll ever get hurt and for two long years, you loved with all you had even though you knew that the other heart did not love you as much. You kept loving and loving, hoping that you & the other heart will meet half way. Then the time actually came … the time where you got hurt. Not just a short amount of hurt; you were hurt for two year. For two year … you were completely broken & shattered. So broken that everybody noticed it. You didn’t want to give love a chance again; never again. Why would you give love another chance when you have gone through so much bullshit and lies? One of my old friends once said to me “She ripped out your heart; stepped all over it, crushing it to pieces and then just left it there without even cleaning it up” and honestly; I’m very sorry. So so so so so sorry that I put you through so much hurt & pain. That is why I kept you locked up. I was never going to put you through more pain. So when this new girl came in my life, I kept you locked up even though you kept telling me to go for it while my head kept telling me “no” because I wanted to keep you protected. But you kept trying to come out and over power my mind. So after all the things you’ve been through you still wanted to open up to this new girl, which amazed me. She must be something special if you wanted to give love another try just for this one new girl. Then finally, you over-powered my mind. I listened to you rather then my head. I’m glad I did listen to you heart because I can honestly say that I am truly happy and I feel as if you are healed. You are so much better. You helped me turn from that bitter heart broken man to this happy cheerful man. After that two years, you decided that you’ll give love another chance. Thank you because I have a good feeling about this girl. A very good feeling. Thank you for telling me to go for her. I’m so happy because even though I put you through so much pain, hurt, tears, bullshit, lies, and torture, you are still willing to give love another chance…

Things i feel for you……..

 

STANDING IN SILENCE

 

Standing in silence looking in the eyes of my love,

she is about to leave and I stop her.......wanting to hold on to her for one more second..........why does it have to be this way, what happened? What went wrong? My dignity doesn't allow me to ask her to stay, but my heart is about to speak for me.....please don't go, I wanted to shout....look at me and try to remember when you fell in love with me....remember the good days, the happy moments.......if you are willing to try, I am willing as well....

But I stay silent, my words caught in my throat....my eyes revealing everything....I am still looking at her, the silence between us grows bigger...the space is getting wider...again she starts to leave, but not before, she gave me a look that spoke volumes....I fell out of love with you...I want out, don't make it harder than it already is...I will not stay, we have hurt each other with swords....cutting out our deepest feelings....

Take care, was all she said.....closed the door behind her.....

I finally talking...........asking questions...do you remember when? The first time we held hands, the first time we said I love you, the first time we went out, the first valentine? Do you remember our first kiss? Cuz I don't remember our last....to me there was never an end...to me we will always go on..and on...

And then I felt a hand take my shoulders and help me up.....arms taking me in and vanishing all my pain,,,,,I looked up and there I saw a reflection of my strength, the reflection of my future, the reflection of my success...That is when my life started all over again......and I knew I would survive.....that was me then and this is me now........

Can’t Name You…………

 

There are some moments in life when you feel like dieing because it wont be worth living after witnessing such beauty. I've got a post on hold, one that is long due now. I've started writing it, but can't really get anywhere. I may publish it unfinished. But this one, I must post now. I'm afraid I wont be able to write about it, if this moment passes. I've been checking her album. She accepted the request today and she has written a post in her blog. Can't write the words of admiration that I want to as photo-comments. It'll be too much out-in-the-open. Some feelings, you need to hide. Murmur in her ears in private, in person, silently. Can't do that either. Can't fall in love with her. Twitted the moment, "There are two ways out of her eyes, love or death..." Love is an impossible option, death isn't even an option. I hate it! I know this is momentous, but moments I believe in. Eternity doesn't have the ability to hold it. Why does it happen to me? I should be dead, or in love...

Goddess, give me a camera and let me look at you.. forever... for this moment. I wanted to die, sincerely! Call me a cynic... but that's the truth!

If you find love.........then what we DO??????

If you find yourself in love with someone who does not love you, be gentle with yourself. There is nothing wrong with you. Love just didn't choose to rest in the other person's heart.

If you find someone else in love with you and you don't love her/him, feel honoured that love came and called at your door, but gently refuse the gift you cannot return. Do not take advantage, do not cause pain.

How you deal with love is how you deal with you, and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys, even if our lives and ways are different.

If you fall in love with another, and she falls in love with you, and then love chooses to leave, do not try to reclaim it or to assess blame, Let it go. There is a reason and there is a meaning. You will know in time.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing, then reach out and give it away.

Give it back to the person who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in anyway you can.

This is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long without love, they understand love only as a need. They see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and they begin to look at love as
something that flows to them rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as need. They cease to be someone who generates love and instead become someone who seeks love. They forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.

Remember this, and keep it to your heart. Love has its own time, its own seasons, and its own reason for coming and going. You cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into saying. You can only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you.

But if it chooses to leave from your heart or from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and always will be a mystery.

Be glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.

Don't deny love just only you don't want to be hurt............

IF YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN, IT WILL COME AGAIN..............

 

 

Quote of the day:
I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated. - Poul Anderson

A True Love Story....Read it..

 

There was once a guy who suffered from cancer... a cancer that can't be
treated. He was 18 years old and he could die anytime. All his life, he was
stuck in his house being taken cared by his mother. He never went outside
but he was sick of staying home and wanted to go out for once.

So he asked his mother and she gave him permission. He walked down his block and found a lot of stores. He passed a CD store and looked through the front door for a second as he walked. He stopped and went back to look into the store. He saw a young girl about his age and he knew it was love at first sight. He opened the door and walked in, not looking at anything else but her. He walked closer and closer until he was finally at the front desk where she sat.

She looked up and asked "Can I help you?" She smiled and he thought it was
the most beautiful smile he has ever seen before and wanted to kiss her
right there.
He said "Uh... Yeah... Umm... I would like to buy a CD." He picked one out
and gave her money for it.
"Would you like me to wrap it for you?" she asked, smiling her cute smile
again.

He nodded and she went to the back.
She came back with the wrapped CD and gave it to him. He took it and walked out of the store. He went home and from then on,
he went to that store everyday and bought a CD, and she wrapped it for him. He took the CD home and put it in his closet. He was still too shy to ask
her out and he really wanted to but he couldn't. His mother found out about
this and told him to just ask her.

So the next day, he took all his courage and went to the store. He bought a
CD like he did everyday and once again she went to the back of the store and came back with it wrapped. He took it and when she wasn't looking, he left his phone number on the desk and ran out...

!!!RRRRRING!!!

The mother picked up the phone and said, "Hello?"

It was the girl!!! She asked for the boy and the mother started to cry and
said, "You don't know? He passed away yesterday..."

The line was quiet except for the cries of the boy's mother.

Later in the day. the mother went into the boy's room because she wanted to remember him. She thought she would start by looking at his clothes. So she opened the closet. She was face to face with piles and piles and piles of unopened CDs. She was surprised to find all those CDs and she picked one up and sat down on the bed and she started to open one.

Inside, there was a CD and as she took it out of the wrapper, out fell a
piece of paper. The mother picked it up and started to read it.

It said: Hi... I think U R really cute. Do u wanna go out with me? Love,
Jacelyn

The mother opened another CD...
Again there was a piece of paper. It said: Hi... I think U R really cute. Do
u wanna go out with me? Love, Jacelyn

Love is... when you've had a huge fight but then decide to put aside your
egos, hold hands and say, "I Love You"

..............................................END..........................................

 

Quote of the day:
The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair. - Douglas Adams

“Are you serious?”

 

"Are you serious?", she asked me.

Am I serious?

I've been waiting for so long to make you feel just that, I'm serious.

Why so serious?

Because I love you.

One lazy afternoon that rolls into a cozy evening is just the setting for a matured kind of love. Call me mushy, call me romantic, the old-fashioned kind. How does it really matter?
Just the day before, she gave me the first gift. It's nice. The way she gave it to me, was even better. It meant to me the care, she almost never showed for me. She's changing. She says, I'm changing too. There are certain things I hate about growing up, growing old. But there are certain others, I love. This is one of those. To be able to shake of your baggage of whatever you had gathered so far. There are moments in life, when you understand, you wont live much longer, not at least in the way you want to. Like an actor gives his best performance after the curtain rises for the last time, like a sportsman puts up his best after the penultimate whistle has blown, you live it up. You know the end is evident, you know you are too helpless to stop it, you're too skeptical to believe that it wont come. You live it up.

This is too good to be true.

You walk the scorching stretches of heat after doing the necessary weird stuff in life, and the last person you expect to meet is her. So, you hardly notice her. She calls you, then tells you, she'll call you up when she's free. You, being the skeptical pessimist you are, keep working your course. You almost forget about her. Somewhere deep down, you believe the call will never come. At the most she'll send a sms, which will say, "some other day probably..." or something like that.
Then you come out of your self constructed closet, where you try to look busy, wearing your self-made cloak of importance! And like silently the angel of life knocks at your doorstep, you see her, waiting. Not really for you, but at the place you least expected.
And you decide, this life is worth giving a try, once more.
So, you drop the duties and be there. Not because you can let go, but because you feel like! and then finally, you gather the courage to ask her out, in full presence of her friends. Not that they'll mind, but somehow, it used to look odd. Then you land up in a place where you can actually be cozy with her. Cozy enough to be able to talk to her, watch her cruising through the books, steal glances of her, be close enough to breath on her neck. You just want to kiss her there, but you know that'll be too much. And you enjoy the sweet pain of helplessness and and she enjoys her toothache because you are happy to be with her.

At some point, she actually wants to know about your feelings about her. You pore it out. You know it can be dangerous according to the principles you like to hold on to, but you don't care about them that much these days. She is too precious to let go, but she is too comfortable this afternoon. She's too good to be yours, but she says she's already yours, and she feels bad that you are troubled with this relationship.
Then, like luck would have planned everything perfect for the evening, you decide to go for a movie. Honestly, it's trash. But that's just the best to suit the bill. Any place cozier than a film hall if you want "not to be looked at", even by her? You just feel her presence beside you. That's all you wanted, ever. The warmth of being together. Not much I suppose?

It's too late and you've already promised her that you'll drop her home. You take a cab and the driver's drunk. So drunk that he escapes an accident just by a whisker all through the way. You feel worried about her, but then as you're pretensions give way to your love, because now it's too strong to be controlled, you feel like dying. You know the kind of life you want with her is not a possibility right now, so you secretly desire for a fatal accident. Impossible? So is this relationship.
You truely give in to the death drive!

No, it doesn't happen that way, but it would've been so good if it did.

She cares....

That's good enough for now...

Am I serious?

Like the desert is about the rain, I am.

 

Quote of the day:
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. - W. C. Fields